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Strawberry Letter: Newlyweds, Cheating, Baby On The Way

Dear Steve and Shirley,

My name is Jade and I have been married now for two months, my husband and I are living in two different states because he is in the military. About a month ago I got a text message from a number that I did not know saying, (and I quote) “While you were busy last night, I was busy having sex with your husband, not the first time, not going to be the last time.” Now not thinking that would be true because my husband and I have been together for over three years and have never had any problems like this, I decided to call my husband and ask him if that was true or not. Instead of getting a “NO” like I expected, he wouldn’t say yes or no. He said “you shouldn’t have to ask me such questions” and he started to get really defensive about the whole entire situation.

I tried to call the number back multiple times and she just kept telling me she was my husband’s girlfriend. My husband would not give me a straight answer on whether or not he had actually cheated on me. After a week of trying to get answers he admitted to me over a text that he did in fact cheat on me. At that point I told him I was done with our marriage and two days later he came back and said he never did anything and he doesn’t want me to leave him. His mother also told me that I shouldn’t leave him even if he did cheat on me because I married him and needed to just deal with it. I also had my own family get mad at me for saying I was leaving him. After deciding I needed to get more information, I went through his email and his Facebook and phone records and found out this has been doing on for at least 1.5 years before he even joined the military nine months ago. Not only has he been talking to other girls, and sending nude pictures and receiving them, he has been doing that with multiple guys as well. After gathering all the proof I needed my husband told me none of that was true and started to flat-out lie about it all.

Then about a week ago, I got a phone call from a girl I know and she told me that she was pregnant. WITH MY HUSBANDS BABY. Apparently, when he was home for two weeks in December, the night before we got married he had hooked up with her while he was out with friends. She is also his ex-girlfriend. Now through this whole situation I do not know what to do. I have changed my life plans for him and made decisions based on him. I don’t know what to do.

Should I try to work things out and keep the benefits that I have with the military or should I give it up because he, obviously, isn’t going to change? Please give me your advice!

Listen to Shirley and Steve respond to this letter below:


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