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Strawberry Letter: Doing Too Much For Her Son, But Nothing For Me

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I own an auto mechanic shop that I inherited and have been working for since I was old enough to hold a wrench. I come from a do it yourself family. I’m the youngest of 11 children and even though I was born and raised in California. Both my parents and most of my older siblings are from the backwoods of Alabama. So, I had a southern styled upbringing where a woman took care of her man. Especially, if she’s not working and he provided all her needs. I have been with my wife for 14 years and she has one son that’s never had a man in his life and grew up in a house as the only boy with six women fussing over him. I always treated him as my own and try to show him how to be a man but through the years, anything I attempted to teach him such manly things, her mother would pay a professional or her or one of her sisters will step in and do it for him. He’s 18 years old now he’s a positive young man and staying in school and out of trouble. But the boy doesn’t even know how to change a light bulb. It’s not that he’s dumb or slow; but they never let him do anything. So he doesn’t know how to do anything! Here is the problem: It’s gotten to the point that I make breakfast, daily; work 12 hours a day; come home to clean and make dinner. My wife doesn’t work at all but she will clean his room and no other part of the house, including our own bedroom; she will wash his and her clothes, but not mine; she will make special meals and treats for him and her, only. EVERYTHING THAT I FEEL THAT A WIFE SHOULD DO FOR A HUSBAND other than sex SHE WILL DO FOR HIM. AND EVERYTHING THAT I FEEL THAT A WIFE SHOULD DO FOR A HUSBAND, SHE WILL NOT DO FOR ME. The sex is less and less.

What should I do?

Listen to Shirley and Steve respond to this letter below:


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