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Strawberry Letter: In Love With A Married Man

Hello Shirley and Steve,

I listen to your show daily and the Strawberry Letter. Now I’m gonna put my business out here. I’m in my 30’s and a successful single mother of two. I divorced my ex husband for infidelity our whole marriage. While out shopping I met a man. He asked me for my number and he called me from his job.

I quickly suspected him to be married. So I left him a message letting him know I was not interested in that situation. I consider myself a very pretty woman and by no means desperate. But due to the fact I live in a small town I don’t meet many successful black men. Anyway, he got my message and persisted that he was a good guy and just looking for a friend in the area. So I accepted his invite to lunch. We began to talk about home, being married but not happy. I became a listening ear. I encouraged him to stay with his wife and work it out. Weeks later we went out and had a few drinks he came back to my house and you know the rest. We have since then become inseparable.

He tells me and shows me daily that he love me and my kids. He comes over daily and we are like a family. Its been six months and he is still with his wife. He wants to leave but has a child at home. He has always told me the good and bad of his marriage. He tells me he is gone to leave but has to prepare. We have the best communication and we talk about bills and issues. We don’t just have sex daily. We are like soul mates.

He tells me daily how beautiful and sweet I am. He respects his wife and never stays overnight unless its well planned. He tells me about his past as a player but has only cheated on his wife once other than me. She does not kiss or touch him and sex is extremely rare. She has gained a lot of weight and has refused his encouragement to lose weight through diet and exercise. She tells him to leave if he doesn’t like it. He says he loves her but is not in love. She shows no appreciation for him. Sometimes he gets so upset that he wants to cry. I truly don’t think this man is being treated like a MAN should be treated.

We are so in love we talk non stop and enjoy each others company without sex. I believe he is really hurting and wants to leave but he is such a good guy. Do you think I’m a fool to think he will leave her for me? If he does will he do me the same way eventually? What should I do I really think he is going to leave? He is everything I want in a man. I do feel bad since I’ve been the married woman and now I’m the other woman.

In love and confused

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