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Strawberry Letter: How to Deal With A Coward Step-Mother/Sorority Sister

Good morning,

I am writing to you to ask for advice on how to deal with my father’s wife who I have never met before. My father lived a double life for as long as I can remember. He has lived a life with my mother for 25 years off and on and has 3 children with her and he has been married to his supposedly soon-to-be ex-wife for about the past 9 years. Now while he married his wife he was still seeing my mother on the side and his new wife definitely knew that my mom and dad were together because my mother and his wife now conversed over the phone. But my mother soon found out about his marriage through my dad’s mother.

As time progressed, I grew distant from my father because I would recognize his lies. My father ended up having two children with his wife and did not tell me nor my mother. I found this out on my own by doing some research at age 16. Following the surprising news, I began to search for his wife because I knew my dad would never allow us to meet. If I could not change the situation I would try to at least change my feelings about it. At the least I just wanted to meet my siblings.

At age 17, I found that his wife, Sheena, worked about 30 minutes from my house at a social work firm as a family and children consultant, ironically. So I messaged her on Facebook and asked could I speak to her in person about everything that was affecting me, but no response. So I decided to come to her job and speak with her in person because I just wanted answers and an understanding. I approached her non-aggressively and like an adult. She quickly denied conversing with me and called the police so I would leave. After that, I accepted the fact that she would never be woman enough to talk to me and I could not change my dad or his wife.

Four years later at age 21, I shockingly find out that she is my sorority sister and my sorority (SGRho) is a sisterhood I am definitely passionate about. With that being said, I messaged her one more time to ask to speak with her and to attempt to meet my siblings and acknowledged the fact that we are now sorors. She didn’t respond but called my father instead and told him that she was going to press charges on me for harassing if I did not leave her alone.

How can a woman, a mother, a soror, a family consultant be so negative and heartless? How should I handle this situation or should I just act as if she and my siblings never existed? Going to my father for answers is out the question.

Listen to Shirley Strawberry and celebrity guest host Cedric the Entertainer comment below:


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