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Strawberry Letter: When To Ask

Hi Steve and Shirley,

I live in Australia. I have seen you on Oprah and I just finished your book  “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.” I really enjoyed it and will be buying your other book tomorrow. I have been single for 9 months, which I am not unhappy about as I am a single mother and I have brought my standards up.

But also I cave to easy. And get lonely and start making decisions that your just not meant to make when looking for a keeper. But I at least know where I fail. I am writing to you to ask about the 90 day probation period. Now you tell us we should put this in place. And you tell us what to ask the bloke we are dating. But you didn’t really explain when to ask. Do I ask in the first few days? Weeks? I just want to get a real understanding of it. Because I am still young and I don’t want to waste my time and be one of those 30 year olds single and alone because she didn’t ask or didn’t ask early enough.

I thought I was almost close to having the one. He said he loved me in the first week and said he can’t wait to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. I was a little thrown back by it. And he handles my child like his own. But he kept defending his ex, he wanted to see her kids, because he felt like he was their father. They split months ago and he isn’t the biological father. And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with me or I was right for him, because I liked country music, and because of what I had done in my past. He didn’t want to get to know me for who I was now.

So I stopped it and then looked back at the relationship and realized I was also be threatened and used. Threatened because he kept saying he knew people and if I did something wrong by him, he would get seriously pissed off. And used, because he always wanted to go to the pub and nowhere else. And he knew I would drive him there and not drink cause I had my child with me. Obviously family friendly pubs. It was good thinking back on the relationship because I learned from it. But enough of what has happened to me. I’m now just thinking of what’s going to happen to me.

Thank you so much for helping us ladies out.

Amy

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