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Strawberry Letter: Loyal, But Unhappy Husband

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I am a young man with an even younger wife. I haven’t been married a long time and already I feel like it may have been the biggest mistake of my life. I believe my wife loves me and I do care for her, however my heart is just not in this relationship anymore. My wife is the person I have always known her to be: Smart, beautiful, young and full of life. She can be a really sweet and fun person. The problem is most of the time she falls short of the person I know she can be. She is rude, selfish, physical and extremely closed-minded. My total opposite from very big things to very small things. Her short fuse and hot temper can ruin an entire day. Family and close friends have all come to me with their concerns. None saying anything bad about her. But all of them saying I can do and deserve better. I want to walk away from this marriage but I don’t know how. I believe marriage to be a sacred thing and not to be taken lightly. I got on my knee and asked her to marry me knowing she wasn’t what I envisioned. Huge mistake. I thought marriage would fix our problems and change her into my perfect woman. I was wrong. She falls way short of what I require and desire. To be clear, it’s not for lack of trying, we are just two very different people at different points in our lives. I don’t believe she’s ready or fit to be a wife no matter how hard she may try. This women believes we’re soul mates. How can I leave when she is who she has always been? I feel as though I made my bed and must lie in it no matter how unhappy I may be. Should I get a divorce in hopes that I make better future decisions? Or do I stay in a stressful marriage with a woman who loves me and may grow as she matures?

Loyal, but unhappy husband.

Listen to Steve and Shirley respond to this letter below:


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