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Strawberry Letter: Waiting For A Fantasy-Completed Threesome

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I am 49 years old and somewhat involved with a 51-year-old man who lives a long distance. We were involved heavily until last December. I had to put some cool off time between us because he was always requesting sexual favors from me, which I became very drained. He’s on disability, therefore he doesn’t work, but I do. Staying up on the phone and Face Time each night was too much. During Face Time he constantly wanted to see my nude body. Well, I understood that this was a long-distance relationship in a technological world but it just became too much. He told me he loved me constantly but became angry when I wouldn’t meet his sexual expectations. Well, when we stopped talking, he just cut off all communication and told me he didn’t want to be just friends with me because I hurt him too badly. I occasionally would text him, but to no response. A week ago I called him to check on him and he answered. He said he missed me but he is now dating a woman who is a nurse. I asked him how could he replace me that quickly if he loved me. He says he doesn’t love her yet but he really likes her because she and him are going to have a threesome with another woman and that’s always been his fantasy and he doesn’t want anything to happen to prevent her from fulfilling their fantasy. He says he hasn’t stopped thinking about me and he wants me to continue to hang around until June because they will travel to Atlanta and fulfill their threesome fantasy during their four-day excursion at a swinger’s club in May. He says he’s excited and he can’t wait and that’s why she’s so important to him. Now, as I listened to him I thought to myself that he was just out to satisfy himself. The strange thing is every night he has asked me to Face Time him so he can see my nude body. I am in shock at this whole thing. He has asked me not to date anyone else because he would be hurt. He says he is not in love with her but when he’s with her, he doesn’t want me to text or call … so I believe I am the other woman. Now, I like him and he does turn me on BUT I just believe I have to really want more for myself than waiting for THIS man to finish fulfilling his fantasy of having two women. I understand that is every man’s fantasy but I am lonely and feel like I have to move on from that situation. Am I wrong? It just seems like he is a user and only wants what he wants, he doesn’t care about how this makes me feel, he just wants me to wait until he’s done. If I am not willing to participate, should I just stand by and let him fulfill his fantasy or should I just move on and forget about him?

Listen to Steve and Shirley respond to this letter below: