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Strawberry Letter: It’s Me Or The Strippers

Dear Shirley and Steve,

I am twenty-two years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost six years. We have a great relationship and love each other very much. The issue I am having is not uncommon, and I have sought out advice from my girlfriends, but thought it would be best to leave it to the experts…you guys.

Over the course of our relationship neither one of us has had an issue with the other going out, me with my girls and him with his guys. However, recently my boyfriend announced to me that a very good friend of ours has asked him to be the best man in his wedding. Like a good friend, he agreed. I was excited and honored for him until he told me that as the best man he would be responsible for planning the bachelor party. My boyfriend feels that part of this ritual involves visiting the strip club.

This is something I am definitely not comfortable with, and he has known this prior to him being asked to take part in the wedding. I cannot for the life of me seem to wrap my head around the idea of another, half-naked, woman sitting on my man’s lap or feeling up on him. I know he would not disrespect me by allowing a woman to do this to him in any other setting, so why does he feel like this time it should be ok? I want him to be able to have fun with his boys and be a big part of his friend’s special day, but I don’t know how to approach this situation without nagging. I worry that if I let him have this freebie, he might want to continue going to the strip club, although he is not one to visit these places.

I also do not believe that this will be the last time he will be asked to be the best man at a wedding because he has other very close friends who will soon find themselves “taking the plunge.” This situation is likely to come up again. My other concern is that he and I have talked about a future together and I don’t know how I would feel about him doing the same for his own bachelor party. I don’t want to have to give him some dramatic ultimatum, “It’s me or the strippers,” but this really is a deal breaker for me.

I love him so much, is there someway I can compromise with him on this or do I have no luck on this one?

Torn in Texas

Listen to Shirley & Steve comment on this letter below:


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