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Once we established that we would not pursue another year in the new city, my fiancé and I commenced discussions on which borough in New York City we would like to set our sights on for our future apartment. Luckily, we came to an easy compromise of Brooklyn. I spent most of my apartment life in Harlem before purchasing a house in Connecticut, but Brooklyn had become one of my favorite places to hang out over the past couple of years.  Also, most of my fiancé’s family lives there, so it was a win-win decision for both of us.

As he was away, I did most of the searching and visiting until he was able to get back to NYC for a summer visit. I actually enjoyed this, because it symbolized a new beginning for us. It also symbolized my not having to sleep on couches and air mattresses anymore, once he returned.

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During this past year of determining which city we wanted to lay roots, I refrained from getting my own apartment in NYC as a financial decision. I knew we would soon be incurring a lot of expenses for the wedding, so I had been literally apartment hopping from friend to friend. I had an actual room and paid money to one friend, but I knew my single freedom would soon be taken away, so most times, I would also spend time with other girlfriends sleeping on their couches and just having good old fashioned girl time. But this got old…real fast.

I longed for the days of having something of my own again. Though my friends were so gracious in providing rooms and couches for me to sleep when I was in NYC, I felt like I was in the way. This period taught me a very valuable lesson in being accepting of help, but I wanted my OWN again. So with that said, I would not rest easy until we found an apartment.

This process was not easy.

New York is hella expensive, and after spending a year in a very economically desirable city, my fiancé was a tad bit delusional when it came to expectations. I could care less what block the apartment was on as long as it was clean on the interior, spacious and had stainless steel appliances. My fiancé, on the other hand, had champagne tastes when we had a beer budget. He wanted a new building, on a desirable block in Brooklyn, with a doorman and elevator. UM, SIR??!!!

Needless to say we could not come to an agreement for a great length of time. I tried so many different tactics to change his view on certain areas in Brooklyn. I would ask him to go for a walk. We would take a more visually appealing route to an apartment he already said “no” to and I assisted him in making compliments on the area then on a “whim” just happen to end smack dab in front that already nixed apartment like, “Oh, look honey! It’s the apartment we looked at! See, that side of the block ain’t so bad.” Sooooo…that didn’t work either.

Bachelorette To Bride: Your First Big Test In Marriage Is Finding A Place To Settle  was originally published on

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