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Strawberry Letter: Am I The Bad Guy

Good morning Shirley and Steve,

I am a 21-year-old college student who is going through an emotionally tough time. To be blunt, me and my ex lost our virginity in December of 2012. January of this year, I broke up with her and since then, we were just friends. All was well until the night she went to the movies with her friends and she found out that the first time I had sex wasn’t with her, but with another girl in high school. It came from a female friend I’ve known since grade school. It devastated her, but from my perspective, the first time I had sex WAS with her.

The other time – I am still ashamed of this – I had to fake everything because in high school, you were mocked for being a virgin. So my girlfriend at the time and I agreed to say it happened. This white lie has somehow came back to me and now my ex thinks that I PLAYED HER FOR SEX! She can’t trust me anymore, she’s blocked me on Facebook and everyone else in her family unfriended me. To make matters worse, they won’t listen to what I have to say. I’m not a bad person. When we were together, I never raised my voice or got angry at her. I’d never dream of playing her for sex. My emotions were sincere and genuine. But, I feel like she wants complete honesty from me and I just can’t do that. I didn’t feel comfortable telling my girlfriend of only 4 months all of my secrets. This has become psychologically damaging to me. Am I a bad person for not being an open book? Please give me advice. I’ve never felt so miserable…

Listen to Shirley and Steve respond to this letter below:


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