Strawberry Letter: How Do I Help Without Judging?
Hello Steve and Shirley,
My best friend and I have been friends for twenty-one years and we have been through a lot of ups and downs, but she has always been there for me. She has always been my cheerleader, sounding board and all around best friend. Our problem is that I do not approve of her lifestyle. She says that I judge her too harshly because I am a virgin and our upbringings were drastically different. But I just want the best for her. Her mother encourages her lifestyle because she gets some of the benefits from it. Her mother has always been someones mistress, girlfriend, or trophy wife. So I do not think that she is the best person to take advice from. I constantly encourage my friend to get some type of training so she can become independent. Instead she dates men old enough to be her father. These men take care of her in exchange for her favors. She lives very well because her boyfriends have brought her cars, clothes, purses, shoes, a condo, etc. She believes that it is okay to be kept by these men. Even though I am constantly telling her that she is not going to be in her twenties and have the same body forever. I am afraid that those men are going to move on to someone younger. When they do I do not think she is going to be able to take care of herself. She does not even know how to balance a checkbook or pay a bill. Please, advise me on how to prevent my friend from becoming bitter, alone, and worn out like her mother.
Listen to Shirley and Steve respond to this letter below:
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