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Strawberry Letter: I Had A Child With The Married Choir Director

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I am so not proud of writing this letter. However, you and Steve have advice that I agree w/ so I would like to know you guys opinion on my situation. Over 7 years ago I was pursued by the choir director of my church. As hard as it was, I would give him the cold shoulder when he flirted w/me because he was married & his wife sang in the choir as well.

I did not know her personally because our choir was so big & everybody had their own group of friends. One rehearsal I noticed his wife wasn’t there and he was super sad. He approached me after it was over & told me that he and his wife were separated/divorcing. After a few months of her not coming back & him not having a wedding band on I believed him & we started dating. Needless to say I became pregnant.

When I told him, he said that I needed to have an abortion because he loves his wife/family. He left the church we were going to & I hadn’t seen him since. I don’t believe in abortions. My daughter started asking for him. I didn’t know where he was. Nutshell, I went to a church near my house that I just bought & guess who was there……..daddy, directing the choir and his wife was  singing. He also hs a son now.

I was shocked when he came to me acting like he has been looking for us. I gave him all of my contact info….almost 4 months ago & he still hasn’t made a way to come & see her. I’m trying to let him break the news to his family.

What should I do? Just take my daughter to children’s church & let the chips fall where they may? I know your gonna tear me up too but its a price I’m willing to pay for advice in this situation.



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