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Strawberry Letter: I Love My Husband But He Doesn’t Love Himself

Good Morning Steve and Shirley,

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. He and I both have diabetes. I have juvenile diabetes and he has type 2 along with hypertension. Since I was born with the illness I have managed to take better care of myself. My husband is 44 years old and he is set in his ways. He was just hospitalized for having a blood pressure of 201/186 which could induce a stroke.

My issue with this is when I met my husband he drank and he ate everything that was unhealthy. With that being said I try to explain that he has to change his habits if he wants to be here on this earth. We have an 8 year old son together and it hurts him to see his father ill. I feel I can’t change him but I love him. I say he doesn’t love himself because he is not trying to change his bad habits to make his health better. The drinking is a serious issue because everyday after work the bar is the main attraction.

I am getting to the point where I will walk out because I don’t want to take care of a man that is not willing to better himself for the good of the family. I love myself so therefore I take care of my health. Why should I suffer in taking care of a man that can’t seem to love himself? Would I be wrong if I left him? The drinking is a big issue for me because when he drinks he is mentally and physically abusive. He is like a drug addict and I know that our vows are for better or worse. We are at worse and I am ready to leave for the sake of my sanity and our sons.

Will he get better if I leave? Or is it possible that he will get worse?Am I wrong for making this decision because I am extremely tired?

Sincerely,

I love my husband but he doesn’t love himself.

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