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Strawberry Letter 23: The Writing Is On the Wall, But I Refuse To Read It

Dear Mr. Harvey and Shirley,

I am a 34-year-old divorced dad of two, a small business owner, and grad student. My problem is my fiance or should I say my ex-fiance. I have been in a relationship with this woman for almost 7 years. I developed an outstanding relationship with her son and he even calls me “Dad.” I love this woman unconditionally, but I do not get the same in return.

She does not understand the art of appreciation, she is stubborn, she does not compromise, and she is unwilling to do anything that does not feel comfortable to her. I offered counseling, I have tried to communicate my concerns repeatedly and she just shuts down and gets mad saying, “You are always bringing this up or you are making a big deal out of nothing.”

In her mind, our relationship is great. In my mind, we have a few issues that need fixing. I am getting my ring back today, but I really do not want to. I have never been in this position before. PLEASE HELP ME! How can my mind know this is over, but my heart refuses to let go?

The thing is, I only want this woman, I do not want anyone else. I do not want to force anyone to love me, wear my ring, or be my wife.

Sincerely,

Dying Heart

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