Subject: I love him, but not his house.
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’ve been in a relationship with a wonderful man for a number of years. He wants me to move in with him and I almost did a few years ago. I backed out at the last minute and he was devastated. Here’s my issue… His house needs a serious woman’s touch, a good cleaning and some updates. He cleans up a little bit, so his bathroom and kitchen aren’t nasty and he takes the trash out. But the rest drives me nuts. I go over to his house and clean, but it just goes back to the same condition after a couple days. Sometimes I literally walk behind him, picking up stuff he dropped on the floor, from the front door, to the back door, to upstairs. I keep giving him suggestions on how we can update the house, but he brushes me off. Money isn’t the issue and I’m handy enough to do some of the updates myself. We’ve had this conversation over and over again about how his house looks. I told him it’s a reflection on me, the woman he’s dating, whether I live there or not. I love him so much and I know he loves me, but I’m afraid I can’t live with him because of this issue. My kids love him, but when they go over to his house, their faces are always like, “what the hell?!” My family is telling me that if I love him, then I should just deal with it. I don’t feel like I’m at home when I’m at his house. I love him with my everything, and we are looking forward to getting married, but how do I get him to understand that a woman’s home is her pride? If the house looks crazy, no one is looking at him, they’re looking at me.
Unknown
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