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A.R. Bernard, CEO of the Christian Cultural Center in Brooklyn, New York, has counseled countless couples and identified the patterns of relationship destruction and success.

According to Bernard, the key to any healthy relationship is knowing exactly what you really want from a partner.

In his new book, Four Things Women Want From A Man, Pastor Bernard addresses women’s wants, but speaks directly to men about what women expect from them as well.

From about Four Things Women Want From A Man:

As men and women have come to Bernard for spiritual counseling and advice, he’s learned patterns of behavior that are repeated time and again. After almost four decades of preaching, teaching, and counseling, he’s seen that while every situation is unique, people’s behaviors and consequences are amazingly consistent. With this in mind, Bernard has developed a simple system for understanding how couples relate to each other.

Bernard joined Roland Martin on NewsOne Now to discuss his highly anticipated book and give a brief overview of the four things he believes women are looking for from their men.

Pastor Bernard established one of the ground rules he feels works well for men: “You don’t tell a woman what she needs, you may suggest what she may want.”

“Contrary to the title of the book, women don’t know what they want, but they do know what they don’t want, and on that basis, I wrote the book.”

“Women don’t want a man who is immature. They don’t want a man who is indecisive. They don’t want a man who is inconsistent and they don’t want a man who is weak,” he continued.

NewsOne Now panelist Jamira Burley, also a Youth Engagement Specialist, responded to Pastor Bernard’s comments with a resounding, “Praise the Lord! You got the answer, sir.”

The CEO of the Christian Cultural Center went on to say, “The book is written to women for men and I want men to come up and women not to have to come down to find love.”

The four things women want from men:

  1. Maturity: “Maturity doesn’t come with age; it begins with the acceptance of responsibility.”
  2. Decisiveness: “Decisiveness is insight in action. It’s the ability to know what’s right and, just as important, it’s the willingness to do what’s right.”
  3. Consistency: “Consistency is firmness of character. It’s the ability to make mature, quality decisions time and again, facing down the inevitable temptations that Satan scatters across your path.”
  4. Strength: “Strength, the kind of strength that really matters, is the courage to live out your convictions in spite of what the crowd is doing.”

“Women find the boy in the man cute, but when a women says ‘I just wish he’d grow up,’ what she is really saying is, I want the man to take responsibility for his words, thoughts, motives, actions, and attitudes,” he continued.Maturity doesn’t come with age, it beings with the acceptance of responsibility.”

“A man’s words becomes a woman’s source of faith in rule of conduct and if he doesn’t understand that, then he will be very flippant or casual and careless with his words, not understanding that’s what she builds the relationship on,” Bernard said.

Watch Roland Martin, A.R. Bernard, and the NewsOne Now panel discuss the Four Things Women Want From A Man in the video clip above.

TV One’s NewsOne Now has moved to 7 A.M. ET, be sure to watch “NewsOne Now” with Roland Martin, in its new time slot on TV One.

Subscribe to the “NewsOne Now” Audio Podcast on iTunes.

Pastor A.R. Bernard Explains The “Four Things Women Want From A Man”  was originally published on