Subject: My Husband Is Now Telling Me That He Messed Up

Dear Shirley & Steve:

I am divorced from a man who I truly and deeply loved from day one. He was always an excellent provider, generous outside of our household with helping others and always treated me like a queen. However, after six years of marital bliss…he started some nonsense. My word for cheating is “nonsense” and nonsense is what I was presented with. I was totally hurt and devastated after discovering this. After six years of marriage I was a totally devoted and happy woman but discovered that my husband was cheating (“nonsense”) on me. I was hurt, livid, ready to kill, etc. I IMMEDIATELY filed for a divorce and got it quickly as we didn’t have children or true assets built up. I decided that I would have to move on. He IMMEDIATELY married the woman he was cheating with and when I found out I knew that was it. I was heartbroken for a very long time. That was almost 15 years ago and I recently was contacted by him. Believe me I wasn’t easy to find because I move around on a whim. I never remarried and when he found out I was still single he said that we should get together because “we know each other” and there are no barriers to keep us apart – we should see each other again. Steve, Shirley I know you won’t believe this but I still love this man and feel that I was kicked to the curb without being able to save my marriage and now that he’s older and maybe “bored” with the wife – he wants to kick it with me because I’m still free. I’ve kept myself up – still jazzy and healthy and attractive. He seemed surprised at that. Emotional attachment is a beast and I know that if I “kick it with him” it will eventually get sticky and messy. I know I deserve better than being second in his life but I really do miss him and love him and want to be with him. I don’t want to be a jump off or “comfort zone” for a man who I truly love and want to be with. I didn’t think I’d ever be divorced from him but not only did he leave me for someone else but now he thinks that I should just go along with his love jones because we “know each other so well and I don’t have anyone in my life right now. He says he’ s sorry and was very immature and stupid back then. But now he feels that he made a big mistake and wants to be with me. I told him that I’m the Queen in a man’s life or I’m nothing and that if he isn’t going to be available to me then leave me alone. But I still really do love and miss him. What do you think?

Listen to Steve and Shirley respond to this letter below: