Subject: He’s Too Afraid To Be A Father
Dear Steve and Shirley,
My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and I am afraid that he is terrified of being a father! I met my husband when I was a freshman in college and he was a Junior. During our entire relationship it was clear that he had a VERY bad relationship with his father. So I understood why he was tense when ever the subject of his father came up. What I don’t understand is his constant attempts at NOT being a father himself! Before we were married, let’s just say we fooled around a lot but he personally made sure that my virginity stayed intact. Now that we are married we do use condoms now, but he insists that I get on birth control as well! He now monitors my pills and even my monthly cycle like a crazy man! Not only that but now that we are married when-ever I see a couple with children I sometimes talk to him about having kids in the future. That is when he tells me that he couldn’t bear for me to go through the pain of child-birth and that we should adopt instead. Now he constantly wants to show me graphic videos of women of labor and ask me “You want to go through that?” I don’t look forward to the actual physical process of giving birth, but I would at least like to have ONE child that is my husband’s, and then we can adopt all the children he wants. Steve – will my husband be distant as a father because his own father was a dead-beat dad? Or is there a way for me to ease him into the idea that fatherhood is not that scary.
P.S. – My mother owned a home daycare while I was growing up so I know how to handle kids. However this only makes my husband MORE nervous about being a dad.
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