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Strawberry Letter: She Can’t Cook, Won’t Clean and is Cool with It

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I have a wonderful woman in my life who I’m totally in love with, we hit it off from the very first day and after four months I asked her to move in with me, she was over everyday so why not. We’ve been together going on two years now. We go and do everything together from picnics, movies, clubs to watching the football game. I couldn’t ask for a better woman or friend. Except she can’t cook and she won’t clean. She leaves her mess all over the place: Dishes piled to the ceiling and paper on the floor. I’ll leave it there just to see how long it would stay. Three weeks before I sucked it up and did it. When I went to her apartment she didn’t have much furniture so there was really no indication that she doesn’t clean. I’ve discussed this with her several times and she’ll do something 1 or 2 days then it back to the same thing. It’s very irritating. We both work but every since we’ve been seeing each other I’ve been doing all the cooking and cleaning. I was taught that way plus before she came, my place was spotless because I was always entertaining guests and now that she’s here, I don’t invite anyone over or I communicate with my friends outside. She’s in school getting her masters degree so I cut her some slack about it all but, WOW. I said, well, just do it on the weekends, still nothing. She’s the youngest of six women and nobody taught her anything. They did it all for her and now that she is older and she can’t do any of it. I told her she needs to hire a maid on her days because I’m too tired sometimes to do anything. That was a month ago. I don’t want to lose this woman but it’s becoming overwhelmingly irritating to the point where I don’t want to come home or I have a instant attitude so as I walk in the door and see it. What should I do?

Listen to Shirley and guest host Earthquake respond to this letter:

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