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Strawberry Letter: My Husband Likes To Talk To His Female Co-Worker On The Phone

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I have been married to my husband for 3 years, together for 8. We have had a great relationship so far, but I have this one pet peeve that I can’t get over. He is a gregarious man, gets along with men and women of all ages and races and shapes and sizes. Needless to say, he gets along well with women as well as men. He has always had female friends at work that he would talk about as well as other team members, but this was was a little different.

He talked about her saying that she was just like him, they have the same personality, they get along so well, she is funny, “we have such great chemistry” was the most difficult  to hear. Overall, she’s beautiful, funny, and has the same likes and laughs at the same jokes. He talks about her regularly and now sometimes he comes in the house talking on the phone with her. He doesn’t hide with the phone, but it makes me uncomfortable and feel that this is a breeding ground for becoming too close to a female co-worker.

I have addressed this with him and let him know that it makes me feel uncomfortable that he is building a close relationship with her. He says she is just like one of his male coworkers and a member of the work team. He said she is skinny with no body, so she doesn’t appear sexy to him, but she has bigger boobs than I do, so I don’t see how that is even realistic. I told him before and today I told him that I don’t want him to talk with her anymore on the phone outside of work hours. He was very upset saying that I should trust him and that no matter what they always remain professional and platonic. He will not stop talking with her even though it makes me uncomfortable.

What is happening? Does he not respect my needs as his wife? He is the one calling her, not otherwise. He calls himself her life coach. I just want to be respected.

Please help.

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