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Where do I get the guts?

I am still married but have lived on my own for 2 years. I had been been with my husband since I was 15, took a 2 year break, got back together, had a kid and separated when the baby turned 4 due to my husband’s drug addiction issues. He became very mean to say the least even trying to get me fired. He has been clean for a year now and is working under the table. We lived with his parents until I decided to leave him and not then nor now has he ever supported me or my son financially. I haven’t divorced because I am so afraid of having my son lose out on what his father could be now that he is clean but in the past year, he hasn’t really done much for us but stay clean, should I just move on and get divorced and stop waiting around? During the holidays I tried to see if there was anything there but he refused to go to counseling and everything he did or didn’t do ticked me off. Not to mention the sex just wasn’t the same. When I bring up how he doesn’t help me with $ he says that the reason is because I chose to do it on my own by leaving him so this is what I get…

What do you think?


Stupid to not make a decision