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Strawberry Letter: He’s Putting It All On Me

My husband and I met in college and have been together for 8 years, married for 2. We are in our late twenties and have two children. Well we both know that we don’t want any more children. I mean right now. He means permanently.

After my second child, I have had a lot of issues and I’m still not 100%. I took my husband’s feelings in mind and starting trying birth control methods to prevent us from having any more children.

Well, I mentioned to him that he should consider a vasectomy because he doesn’t want any more children period. It’s a less invasive surgery and quicker recovery than me having my tubes tied or a hysterectomy. He flat out says NO!

He said he never “asked” me to do anything, IUD or the birth control pills. While he did not out right ask me, he left all the responsibility on me to prevent us having another child. I feel it’s unfair. I have been through enough procedures for our family! I think he is being selfish and should at least look into it.

I am being realistic and I know that if one of us does not take a surgical step we will have another child. I love my husband but he is being just unreasonable, especially since he knows he doesn’t want any more children.

I get it he doesn’t want his “manhood” taken away, but hey I carried two children for a total of 18 months and I work and take care of our children (both under 3) and I have to take hormones just so we don’t get pregnant again. How do we come to a middle ground here because I feel like I’m the only one who is trying to be proactive about this.

Please help

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