Strawberry Letter 23: Bitter Black Woman
How do you keep from being a bitter black woman? I was married for seven years, I believe that marriage is a learning experience and you grow together. We both made our mistakes, but I thought that staying through a child outside of the marriage, the same age as our daughter, and going to a thousand counseling sessions that we were getting better.
I was so caught up in keeping him, I didn’t realize that not only was he cheating me out of time and love, but our four kids as well. I made excuses for me having to play both roles because he is in the military. He married a week after our divorce, tricked me in court as if he were by himself and he wanted to be a better father which I so much desired for my four children, especially my boys.
He now has three stepsons and prides himself of being a good stepfather, but I don’t get it, because he is not being a father to his own. He lives in Germany, so that’s his excuse about not being involved. I wanted to get to know the kids stepmom at first but her attitude is I still want him, but I just wanted to be coparents. Yes I’m hurt, because of our divorce, but a man or woman comes and goes, our kids are a lifetime.
I just want him to love them the way I love them, they are amazing. I want to share little things they do with him and my kids to be apart of his family. Our kids are 7, 6, 4 and 3. How does a man all of sudden fall in love with someone’s kids and doesn’t know his own?