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Subject: I love my husband but he doesn’t love himself

Good morning Steve and Shirley my husband and I have been married for nine years.  He and I both have diabetes.  I have juvenile diabetes and he has type 2, along with hypertension.  Since I was born with the illness, I have managed to take care of myself, my husband is 44 years old and he is set in his ways.  He was just hospitalized for having a blood pressure of 201 over 186 which could include a stroke.  When I met my husband he drank and ate everything that was unhealthy.  I tried to explain he has to change his habits of he wants to be here on this earth.  We have an 8-year-old son and it hurts him to see his father ill.  I feel I can’t change him, but I love him.  I say he doesn’t love himself because he is not trying to change his bad habits to make his health better.  The drinking is a serious issue.  Because every day after work the bar is his main attraction. I am getting to the point that I will walk out because I do not want to take care of a man that is not willing to better himself for the good of the family.  I love myself so I take of my health.  Why should I suffer in taking care of a man that can’t seem to love himself?  Would I be wrong if I left him?  The drinking is a big issue for me, because when he drinks he is mentally and physically abusive.  He is like a drug addict and I know our vows are for better or worse.  We are at our worse and I am ready to leave for the sake of my sanity and our son.  Will he get better if I leave or is it possible that he will get worse?  Am I wrong for making this decision because I am extremely tired?  Sincerely, I love my husband but he doesn’t love himself.


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