Strawberry Letter: His Sister Is The Other Woman
I am a successful, mature woman. My love of 13 years is a wonderful man and I know he loves me. This is the longest that I’ve ever been in any relationship. We have been faithful to each other the entire 13 years. He has a very kind heart, sometimes too kind. We go to church together, we have keys to each other’s homes, we travel together, the whole nine yards…. As a matter of fact, some people think that we are married. We discussed marriage about 7 years ago but I wasn’t ready. I am ready to marry him now.
Over the past year or so I’ve given him several hints that I’m ready. He say’s we’ll get married. I’m tired of giving hints, but I can’t ask him to marry me. A couple of weeks ago he thought he was about to get the cookie but I broke it down to him and told him that I was tired of having casual sex with him. I asked him what are we doing? Where were we going with this? He didn’t understand my attitude. As we lay in bed I asked him if we were going to ever get married. He said yes, and he loves me with all his heart. He asked me “so you want to get married”? This was not in a proposing can of way but, in a “is this what you want ?” kind of way”. I told him it’s not about me wanting to get married, it’s more about us not having any plans or direction as to where this relationship is headed after all these years. He assured me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and wants to marry me. I asked when? He said he needs to get his financial situation straightened out. He makes a decent living, his children are all grown, so I asked what financial situation? He wasn’t able to tell me specifically what the financial situation was. He does have a couple of family members living with him, one of which is his 40+ year old sister. Both of these family members work and make decent livings however they do not contribute to the household financially. I think they may pay a cable bill or something small like that. He says he would have to pay his bills anyway so he doesn’t ask them for anything. There’s that “too giving” part. Anyway, he said we would start discussing our future together and plan our lives together. Cool.
A few years ago, his sister lost two jobs within a couple of years. He actually paid her car note and helped her in other financial ways during that time. I even did my part in helping her find another job. She has a good job now. Steve his sister just purchased a car that I know she can’t afford. I just found out that his name is on her car! He didn’t tell me, I found out on my own. I am livid!!!
I know he loves his sister. I know he loves me but I don’t have anything to show for it. It’s like he’s married to her.
I can’t tell him how I found out that his name is on the car.
Steve what’s the best way to handle this?