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Life is about how we handle the things that happen to us. The ability to get up after getting knocked down in any way is a quality that we all seek, but not everyone finds. That’s resiliency. It’s a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, but more than a tough-as-Teflon surface or rubbery resolve — resiliency is thriving even when times are tough. It’s being stretched beyond belief and snapping back into place without missing a step. It’s the stuff that helps us get through life without giving up. Honestly, resiliency is one of those tools you’ll always need in your life.

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Unfortunately, not many of us know how to execute this life lesson. That’s why we tapped stress expert Jane Bruce to help us learn the tools that will make us truly resilient. Here are four essential tools:

1. Believe In Yourself.

It seems obvious, but in fact, you won’t get very far without it. A resilient person is not cocky, but quite the opposite: she has a clear sense of her own potential, capability and ability to cope and achieve—a top trait of resilient people.

2. Be Able To See What Is Possible, While Also Seeing What Is.

The most resilient people assess their surroundings as well as their own strengths and weaknesses, and know where they will excel—and where they will fall short. At the same time, they have a positive bias—they expect good things from the world and from other people.

3. Control Your Impulses And Feelings.

With the ability to self-evaluate and assess a situation must come the willingness to manage the impulses and emotions that result. The most resilient people don’t combust over little (or big) things. They take everything into account before they respond so that they don’t make rash decisions or other actions they may regret.

4. Aim High And Reach Out.

A resilient person doesn’t curl up and die over the slightest rejection or failure. In fact, she does the opposite; she expands, and reaches out—even in the wake of crisis. This is one of the most distinguishing characteristics of resilience: Your ability to continue to aim high and reach for it, instead of lowering your standards, expectations, or efforts.

Feeling stronger? Good, now go out there and tackle the world and no matter how much it knocks you down, get back up and be truly resilient.


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Resiliency Rules: 4 Ways To Get Up After Life Knocks You Down  was originally published on