Subject: A Daughter Concerned About Her Dad

Dear Shirley and Steve,

I’m a 38-year-old single mom of 4 who has been living with my parents. My mother passed away in 2008 to colon cancer. Her passing devastated our family to the core. When my mother was alive, she and my dad had many issues, some that were unforgivable in my dad’s eye. But he stayed with her because he didn’t want another man to raise me, my brother and sister. Here is what concerns me. My dad has been talking to one of my daughter’s friends mom for the past 3 months. She is a single mom of 3 and the same age as I am. She isn’t working right now because her daughter had a baby in September. Mind you, my father is retired Air Force and is in his 70’s. Dad tells me that he really likes her because she’s fun. Many people say that I really need to keep my eye on her because she isn’t really into my dad. Then to make matters worst, her children are very disrespectful to their elders. One day my dad went to visit her and one of her kids said, “Yes my mom is here, what do you want with her?” When that was said, she was there and didn’t say a word to the kid! I was like, “What the heck?!” The thing that bothers me is he wants me and my oldest daughter to get along with her. I have told him I will be civil towards, her but I’m not doing anything with her. He gets mad at us for that. He’s always making excuses on her behalf, saying that she’s going through some things, she’s struggling, etc. Not to be mean or anything, but I feel that’s her situation, not mine. I’m concerned about my children. It’s my responsibility to take care of my children. Then he shows out in front of people, which he’s never done before. I think the reason he’s like this is because he’s being intimate with her. Sex is a very powerful tool and will make you blind to reality. I’ve discussed this topic with a good friend of mine and he said that there isn’t anything I can do about it, but just pray for my dad. I love my dad very much and want him to be happy. But I don’t think the woman he’s seeing is the right one for him. Am I being judgmental about this?

Thank you

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