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Subject: Should I Leave It Alone

Dear Steve and Shirley,

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. When we were dating having kids was mentioned but not before 30. Well we got pregnant at 25 and had our son at 26. We knew for sure that we were done because 1 child was all we wanted. At 3 my son began attending a school structured daycare where he was now around other kids and began to ask for a sister or a brother. My husband and I kind of just blew it off. Eventually I began to feel guilty and wanted to have a sibling for my son so we discussed it and I had my birth control removed. We tried to get pregnant for a year but it kept failing with miscarriages. The last pregnancy was going great until my husband sat me down and said that he really did not want any more kids. Just to throw this in there…this is at a time where he was losing his job and we were panicking how we were going to make it. Instantly I got mad because we had been trying for a year and I didn’t understand why he didn’t say this before I removed the birth control. So we decided on abortion. (Bad decision) I was torn and felt that I should have just gone with my gut and had the baby even if it meant losing him. I went along with it because I thought the baby and financials would have ruined our marriage, and I didn’t want the burden. I told him afterwards that I wasn’t getting on anymore birth control, and if he didn’t want kids that bad he would do something on his end. So he got a vasectomy. Now 2 yrs later, and my son being 6 I still want him to have a sibling. We are living in a state where neither one of us is from and have 0 family due to us being prior military. My son has no one to grow up with. I recently brought this subject up, and feel strong behind my decision. My husband feels bad but still do not want this. This subject makes me sad. I am hurt, and I feel I am failing my son. Do he get a reversed vasectomy or should I just live it alone? Divorcing is not an option.

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