How To Handle Walking Down The Aisle

Despite the numerous bumps in the road, we finally made it to our wedding day. My fiancé drove back to New York about a week before we were to be married. I had already left to head to my hometown to start and finish other preparations for the wedding. While I was gone, he settled into our new apartment and caught up with old friends for the last time as a single man

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The week spent in my hometown where the wedding was taking place was sort of surreal. It was really weird wrapping my mind around the fact that my wedding day was soon approaching. I mean, I was never the little girl or teenager who dreamt of her wedding day. I only got caught up in wedding hoopla when I dated my ex in my mid-twenties. So outside of that short period of time, I never had preconceived notions of what I wanted in a wedding or the whole thing other brides do, like wishing to look like a princess and have a fairytale wedding. There were two things important to me for my wedding day and those were my shoes and the open bar. I wanted my wedding to be a PARTY!

My entire family and group of friends from New York were so fabulous. They attended to whatever I needed and expressed sincere excitement the entire week leading up to it. To their surprise, I was very calm. I never once snapped on anybody or cried and made a scene like those crazies on “Bridezillas.” A few times I would have to smile at them and just say “I love you” and that was their cue that I was overwhelmed and please give me space.

My fiancé arrived that Thursday and we immediately went to the courthouse to obtain our marriage license. That’s the moment it got real to him. He was making small, silly jokes, but I could tell he was nervous. While we waited, we played games of Tic Tac Toe on some of the courthouse papers to take some of the pressure off. The good thing was the town we got married in is fairly small, so it only took us about 30 minutes to get the license and then we were out of there.

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The weekend went just as we had planned. Friends and family came in town on that Friday. We hosted a small gathering in the host hotel and then the young folk went out to a club. Not only did the DJ allow me to spin a couple of records that night as a “guest DJ,” I was also called to the middle of the floor to dance solo to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” I had a marvelous time!

The day of my wedding went just as planned also. I woke up to breakfast, went to have my nails done and returned to my grandmother’s house for prep photos and to have my hair done. As I did not have a bridal party, my hairstylist only had to do the hair of my future mother-in-law and my sister. Once everybody left to get dressed, she then did my hair. What I loved about this time is it was quiet. It was only me, my hair stylist, the photographer and my aunt in the home. My aunt busied herself with cleaning while I played music on Pandora, sipped Red Stripe beer and ate some soul food. Everything was chill.

Until…

I got a call from my coordinator that my make-up artist was at the venue and was basically rushing me to get there so she could do my face and leave. It appears she had plans to go out of town, but as I had already paid her and I was not about to be rushed, I kindly advised my coordinator to tell her, “Tough shit, I will be there when I get there.” On top of that, the AC was not working in the venue as well. Lawd have mercy!

As everyone had left, the only car at my grandmother’s house belonged to my sister. With no gas and no AC in it (in the dead of August), I had to say a prayer that not only would I get myself and my photographer there on time, but also that we would not run out of gas and that my hair wouldn’t fall. Ish got real scressful *Gucci Mane voice*

They had me basically holed up in a room in the wedding venue while I had my make-up done and as last minute touches were completed. I couldn’t even leave to go to the bathroom. My three best friends came to the back to pray with me and my mother and I also had time to just sit and look out the window to watch all of our guests enter the venue. I remembered seeing Tina Turner doing the same thing on her Oprah special that aired not too long ago on the OWN Network. She said it was a gift to be able to witness that, so I made certain to take that time to myself to see all of our loved ones coming for our nuptials.

So much was going on that day, I had forgotten to write my vows, so on top of scrambling to get my Spanx, jewelry and everything else on, I had to take a minute to sit and write my vows. I knew what I wanted to say, so it didn’t take me long at all to jot them down in my iPhone. At this point, I was ready.

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There is no way to really describe how you feel before you walk down the aisle. I would like to think I had a strong calmness to me. My mother thought I had zoned out as I wasn’t talking. As she was going to be the person to walk me down the aisle, she kept coming in my face asking “Are you nervous? How do you feel? You good?” I sometimes thought she was more nervous than I was. It was show time.

I didn’t tell my fiancé what I would be walking down the aisle to, so it was a surprise to him. As Eric Roberson’s “She” began to play, the doors opened and I lost it. Thank God my aunt brought my grandfather’s handkerchief to carry with me. He had passed away right before my fiancé proposed and I always wanted him to be the one to walk me down the aisle. I am happy that a little piece of him made it with me that day.

Now, I done told ya’ll I am ALWAYS the first person to cry at a wedding, so this was no shocker. My mother and I hadn’t made it one step and I was crying. When those doors open, and you witness everybody that you love looking at you and smiling, THAT is a gift from God. That room was full of love and I hadn’t even seen my future husband yet.

Midway down the aisle, I figured I needed to fix my face as everybody was watching and cameras were everywhere. As we turned the corner, I saw my future husband standing there. He was so handsome and he had the biggest smile on his face. I honestly couldn’t believe this was happening. After many failed relationships, years of having my guard up and years of thinking I may never get married, here we were, about to tie the knot and jump the broom.

There is so much to tell about that day, that I KNOW I can’t get into right here, so I will leave you with words to describe just how we felt:

Loved, happy, hopeful, joyous, tipsy, grateful, tired, overwhelmed with hugs and well wishes, beautiful, handsome, blessed.

That day was a gift from God. It was everything that we both wanted. We cried, danced, laughed, smiled, saw people we hadn’t seen in ages, drank, danced some more, etc.

Despite everything we went through to get there, separately and together, that day was perfect…..for us.

About the Author: She holds multiple degrees, is a natural born socialite, a business owner, an extreme exerciser of faith and a realist. After 3 years of dating and a year of being engaged, she is ready to tell the truth about what to expect when you are transitioning from being a single woman with no worries to a future wife. For the sake of these articles, let’s just call her Nina. After all, that was here “Club Name” for over 15 years….so yeah, introducing Nina.

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