Michelle Obama Sex Life Revealed In The Onion

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The Onion recently put out a phony Marie Claire interview with Michelle Obama, claiming that the FLOTUS was opening up (pun intended) about her sex life with President Obama.

Sitting down for a candid interview with Marie Claire magazine last Thursday, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly opened up about her marriage to President Barack Obama, saying that their sex life “has never been more open, more experimental, or more generous.”

The shocker is honestly not that The Onion did this (because satire is what they do), but that so many people actually believed that this conversation happened and that Michelle Obama would be this loose-lipped about her sex life with the POTUS.

Check out some of the raciest fake quotes and the public’s reaction to them:

“ Sometimes I’ll leave my heels on, and other times I’ll come out of the shower and Barack will be already lying in bed, naked.”

Good to know with everything going on that they "could never be better"???? Doesn't surprise me onion.com/18Q5fpZ—

Crimsongal74 (@SheilaLansdell) October 10, 2013

“ Sometimes we’ll just do oral, or we’ll only use our hands. Anything that breaks the routine.”

Hahaha. Gold. No #Shutdown here. RT @TheOnion: Michelle Obama Opens Up in 'Marie Claire' onion.com/18Q5fpZ—

Jenn Krajsek (@jkrajsek) October 10, 2013

“We’ve started playing around with choking. And if it gets too rough, I just tell him to slow down. Slow can be really good.”

Is this 4 real? Michelle Obama shares intimate details about her sex life onion.com/17nt5FT via @TheOnion – this has to be a joke!—

jwouk (@juliawouk) October 10, 2013

“The thing is, Barack was always extremely sexual. But it was like we decided that the book was closed. We quit checking in, we let go of trying to make our sexual goals happen. For example, it had been a long time since I had a vaginal orgasm, and that used to be something that was really important to Barack—for me to get there.”

Michelle Obama opens up about her sex life, makes my morning (h/t @rebeccadamss) onion.com/1bJc8xX—

Ellie Krupnick (@elliekrupnick) October 10, 2013

“I remember I actually stopped masturbating for a while, because I started to feel like a less sexual, less desired person altogether.”

wait…why is Michelle Obama in Marie Claire talking about her sex life? 😳—

HadiyyahInas♡ (@DiddySOPretty_) October 10, 2013

“We’ve been watching a lot of porn together, too, which is also a big turn-on…I don’t come every time, that’s just how it’s always been with me, but Barack’s learning not to take it out on himself when I don’t have an orgasm.”

The government may be shut down. … But apparently the Commander in Chief and the First Lady are not "shut… fb.me/1VnKIPjUf—

Aaron Brown (@BrowntownAb) October 10, 2013

“We use our time apart to rev up our engines. Barack knows I like to be bossed around, so before he went to Europe for the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership a few months ago, he said I wasn’t allowed to touch myself until he got back. That was really hot. And during this government shutdown he’s been using me as a release, and sometimes being used in bed—being treated like an object—is really sexy, you know?”

Only in America: "Michelle Obama Opens Up In ‘Marie Claire’: ‘Our Sex Life Has Never Been More Open, More Experimental, More Generous’—

(@Dharmadji5) October 10, 2013