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Strawberry Letter: My Husband’s Daughter Is Telling My Daughter to Have Sex

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I been married to my husband for almost 3 years now. This is my second marriage. I have 3 kids from my previous marriage age 23, 21 and 14. None of which is my husband kids. I love my husband. He is my best friend and the love of my life and I do think the feelings are mutual. He is a wonderful OVER ACTIVE father but his intentions are good. My husband has one daughter who is 17 and a senior in high school. When my older kids were growing and developing into their youth my husband thought it would benefit them to develop work ethics and help with their social developing if they were active in school and have a part-time job to keep them active. Today both of my oldest kids are gone, my 21-year-old daughter is about to start nursing school and works two jobs. She thank us all the time for the encouragement and the motivation. She found out that everything we tried to teach her is the things she needed the most in order to survive in this life other than The Lord. Here is the problem. The same foundation that was set for my kids is not being set for his 17-year-old. She is very smart kid, she makes straight A’s in school, but she has the worst attitude , her mom told her she don’t have to get a job, to let her dad take care of her, so she don’t want to work, she is sexually active and she has been advising my 14-year-old. Recently we had a problem and my 14-year-old informed me that the 17-year-old told her to try sex if she want to, she gave her advice on birth control and she has allowed her to be alone at a friend house with a boy. I told my husband that my 14-year-old is not allowed to hang out with the 17-year-old any longer. I think she is not a good role model for her and she is not the one to give her good advice. When all of this is going on, my husband seems to be afraid to address these situations, she seems to be afraid to talk to her in ways he talk to my kids. I’m a very fair parent but I am a parent that believes in right and wrong. I support my step daughter in everything she does, but I don’t think it’s fair to support her as if she was my own if I don’t have a voice in what’s going on in her life cause everything I say he jump to her defense. Please guys tell me if I’m doing the right thing or am I dead wrong.

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