Strawberry Letter: I Just Want A Child That Looks Like Me
I am a 43-year-old African-American man struggling with not having biological children. I was married in 1993 at the age of 24 and my wife and I were together for almost 13 years. I made my share of mistakes early on in the marriage but we reconciled and stayed together for another 10 years. However, after my mistakes, my wife told me that all was forgiven and we would go on and make our relationship stronger but she seemed to hold the mistake against me by then no longer desiring to have a child with me. When we divorced in 2006, I had all but given up on the dream. I remarried in 2008 with few hopes of having a child but she stated that she was willing to try. However, due to her health concerns of diabetes and high blood pressure, the doctors have stated that it would be highly unlikely for my wife to conceive. Needless to say the dream that was once dead was sparked again with the willingness of my new wife to try, but now the dream has died again and in some ways I’m wondering what I did so wrong that I am unable to have just “one” child that looks like me. Especially when I hear of guys having children all the wrong ways and not wanting to take care of them and I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to take care of my child if I could just get “one.” I have had some counseling to help me to deal and move past that issue and my wife and I are looking to adopt a newborn. Unfortunately, the expenses that come from adoption are pretty steep as well but that is our next step in the process. We are both elementary school teachers and we look forward to the day that our dream is manifested. I know that there are many groups and discussions about women who are unable to conceive and desire to have children but not a lot about men who are just as devastated about not having a child. If you have any ideas that may help us to financially reach this dream we would love to hear it! Thank you in advance.
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