Strawberry Letter: I Love Him But Feel I Should Let Go
Good morning Steve and Shirley,
For the past three years I have been involved with a great man. He is hard-working, passionate, one of my best friends and he is a great father. He spends time with their child and buys the things she needs. He has a child with a woman who is unstable and irresponsible. She and their child was living with family members. Then moved from there into a hotel. She threatens to move out-of-state with their daughter. I have talked to him about filing for joint or sole custody. He did check into it but never filed for custody with the court. In the past when she lost her apartment or didn’t have anywhere to go, he would let her stay with him. I feel bad and understand his concern for his child and wish he would file for custody. I feel like if I wasn’t in the picture, he would open the doors for his ex, their child, and her child from a previous relationship to live with him. I have talked to him and he said he has offered to take care of both kids and have both of them live with him but that she cannot move in. He said it’s because he knows he does not want a relationship with her and that he can not keep helping someone who won’t help herself. I feel like its’ only a matter of time before she pulls the “I’m moving out-of-state” card again and fear of his child being states away he will open that door for his ex AGAIN. I totally understand his concern for the child, but I would be DONE if this happens. I feel like maybe I should step away from the situation so he can sort through things but when I talk to him about his feelings and intentions, he makes it clear that his concern is his child. It’s a stressful situation because I love him but I have this guard up or in the back of my mind, I think that he may allow his ex back in. I feel I have done what I can by talking to him, telling him how I feel, and provide support for him. So, do I walk away from this man who I love because of fear of the baby mama drama or do I stay and continue to support him even though my advice about filing for custody seems to fall on a death ear? What to do? What to do?
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