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Strawberry Letter: Does My Ex Have A Narcissist Personality?

Hello Shirley Strawberry, Steve, and the Crew!

I’ll just go on and list the things that my ex did to me that makes me wonder have I been dealing with a narcissist person. Did I mention my ex is a fifty year old man and I’m forty-five? He is a pathological liar. He has lied about: His daughter’s mother dying on the operation table when she was born: I loaned him twenty dollars one day and he said that he would give it back in two weeks, however, in two weeks he ducked my calls, and when I finally caught up with him he lied and told me that his mom had passed and he had been away. I found out that was a lie when I talked to his mom on Thanksgiving Day on the phone.

He has lied about taking his daughter, my kids, and myself to Orlando, Florida. This trip was planned 6 months in advance and he promised us that we were going all the way up to the day of, just to say that he did not have any money. Did I mention that he had me take off from my job thinking that I was going to Florida? That really hurt me and my kids because that was our biggest dream to fly and to go to Orlando, Florida.

I found out through his sister that he’s been married twice and the second wife he is still married to. They have been separated. During our five years in the relationship, he left me with no explanation only to learn that he had went back to his wife who is ten times older than him. He went back to her but, I’m thinking she really don’t want him back. She just pulls him away from a relationship because she knows that she can because he still loves her. Now, he tells me that he loves me but I could never see it during our off and on relationship. This time our kids became very close. My kids, who are ages eight, sixteen, and twenty-seven, really treated his only child his daughter age twenty-two like their real sibling.

His daughter is borderline retarded and she has a mind of a twelve year old. I love her like my own child and she loved me as well. I would take his daughter to get her hair done along with my daughter every two weeks. I’ve brought clothes for her, gave her money if she needed it, as well as giving her dad money too. I even loaned her dad three thousand dollars for a down payment on a truck thinking that we were a family. I believe in taking care of my family, kids, and all. My mom passed last year from breast cancer and my brother just passed four months ago from lung cancer. May I mention that at my brother’s repass my ex boyfriend did not even pay for my meal at the restaurant? I paid for his plate and mine (I felt bad). I threw a nice birthday party for his daughter, she thanked me and she appreciated it. My ex did not thank me at all. I really honestly did not throw his daughter a party for “thank you” reasons. I did it because I knew she wanted a party.

The list goes on for the things that I did for him and his daughter. He’s done nothing in return to show that he appreciated me or even cared. I would like to add that my ex has sickle-cell and the times when he was feeling bad I went to his house and nurseed him back to his health. Now, he has ended that relationship not even giving a clear explanation why. He would try to say that I was accussing him of cheating or I don’t trust him. Well, of course I did not trust him completely because he has left the relationship without no reason too many times.

I forgot to mention he told my eight year old to sneak one of my rings out my jewelry box. He had my eight year old and his daughter thinking that he was going to propose to me. How can he do such a thing when he knew that he did not get a divorce from his second wife? How can he play games on a child’s mind like that? Anyway, Shirley and Steve I’ve read about a narcissist Personality Disorder, could my ex suffer from this disorder?

Please give me a response. With prayer I’ve been healing. My heart aches and I miss his daughter and my kids especially my daughter misses her so. My daughter calls his daughter big Sis. I’m hoping one day to find the man of my dreams. Someone who will appreciate me. My ex was very selfish and he thought about himself.

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