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Strawberry Letter: Going Back To Maiden Name After A Divorce

Dear Shirley Strawberry and Steve Harvey,

I separated from my ex-husband for over 6 months, then filed for a divorce. I had 4 kids under 18 at the time. I dated a few different guys, but while waiting to finalize the divorce, I began a friendship with one particular man. I finalized the divorce but didn’t change back to my maiden name. There was no particular reason, no hidden agenda; I really just wanted to get it out of something that I had already checked out of 2 years prior.

I admit that I should have thought through everything before not changing back, but I didn’t think it would ever be a big deal. After the divorce was final, I started dating the friend we now love each other and are in a relationship that is 3 years old. He is very helpful and supportive of me and my kids who are 20 (no longer living with me), 16, 15, and 13. Within the first year he told me repeatedly that he wanted to marry me, then when I started to express my excitement to get engaged & married, he expressed that he wanted me to change back to my maiden name before he proposes. I thought that in time, that prerequisite would not be needed anymore because it would be timely and expensive for me. It’s three years now we are still in the relationship but both frustrated because it’s not moving. He stands on his prerequisite, I feel like I will make that investment if he proposes.

What kind of advice would you give someone you care about in in this kind of situation?

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