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Strawberry Letter: His Mama

Dear Steve and the Morning Show Family,

I am a 43 year-old woman dating a 40 year-old man you owns his own home. He is a great man, but my issue is that his mother has lived with him since her husband (not his father) died 10 years ago. She is healthy but not self-sufficient and neither of them is interested in her becoming more self-sufficient. She is 62 years old-and has not worked for the last 10 years.

We have been dating for 2 years and he is interested in moving things to the next level. I am concerned and do not know how I will feel about this if his life becomes our life. Should I look at this as a warning sign of things to come or should I be happy that he loves his mother and just be prepared to join in on the enablement of his mother? I don’t want to be selfish, but this relationship is unlike anything that I have seen before.

She calls me when she cannot find him, he has to drive her everywhere, and she seems very happy when he is sitting home with her. She cooks for him and does all house work. It is like he has a wife already. We have discussed it, but he is adamant about taking care of his mother. She has been nice so far, but things can change with two grown women under the same roof. I am just looking for another perspective before making a decision that I might regret.

Sincerely,

Crossroad

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