Remember a time long ago, in a far away land, when men were globally generalized as being emotionally disconnected? And somewhat standoffish when it comes to their feelings? You know what I’m talking about: when guys used Snoop Dogg’s famous line, “we don’t love dem hoes,” as their anthem and kept it moving!
Well, it seems as though, after the new millennium approached, the rock solid brick wall men built years ago came tumbling down like the Berlin Wall. Oh, trust me, I’ve seen it all, and I’m not talking about only in my personal life either, just look at what goes on in the media. Take for instance Z-list rapper, Joe Budden. This kid has been in more nasty break-ups than Destiny’s Child. But the break-up isn’t the issue, it’s what occurs AFTER the break-up that makes him, as Somaya Reece would say, “a vagina.” When he was with Tahiry, he saw to it that he vlogged a great deal of what transpired in their relationship so naturally, he wouldn’t be tight-lipped after things went south. Budden did everything from broadcasting their differences on blogs to calling into radio stations, having twitter fights, and even making songs about it.
Now, Budden recently broke up with model Esther Baxter. However, things got extremely ugly after Budden wrote a song about Baxter, as she proceeded to make claims that Budden abused her and caused her to have a miscarriage. Budden isn’t the only emotional guy out there though, there are scenarios that everyone has seen that occur in your everyday life. Furthermore, because this issue is becoming inevitable, I’ve listed 5 ways to let you know you’re guy may just be “a vagina!”
1. If he blows up your cell EVERY time you have a girls’ night out. Either he REALLY loves you or he’s just a straight up bugaboo. And there are ways around those issues. If it’s just that he really loves you, you have to sit him down and try to explain that although you feel the same about him, it’s also healthy for the two of you to still do your own separate things every now and then as well. That way you will never lose sight of yourself throughout your relationship. On the other hand, if it’s just that he’s a bugaboo, get rid of him. You’ll never have any time to yourself and that could cause issues further down the line in your relationship.
2. He demands you to drop all of your male friends the moment you start talking. Girl, this is a sign that your new guy has the potential to be a control freak with very low confidence. He’ll always think you have negative intentions, so save yourself the energy and end it the moment this happens. This guy will have it embedded in his head that you’ve either been intimate with your male friends before or desire to be with them at some point in the future. He views them as his competition therefore, you’ll never catch a break.
3. He cries because he “just loves you so much.” The only instances this is even almost acceptable is on your wedding day, your death bed or your funeral. Anything other than that is just weird and a little creepy. The whole Lifetime-movie, crazy-in-love stalker steez is not attractive on anyone.
4. After every argument, he writes subliminal statuses about you. This is a sure sign that he can’t hold water. He will tell anyone who will listen the ups and downs of your relationship. End it immediately. If you wanted someone to know specifics about you, tell them yourself. Every detail of your relationship doesn’t need to be displayed all over Facebook and Twitter. You will never feel completely secure in your relationship if he is sure to broadcast to the world every single disagreement.
5. He has a history of messy break-ups. This is a warning sign so please proceed with caution. While one or maybe even two messy break-ups in a row are understandable, if this becomes a pattern it could form a cycle and the problem is likely not his former girlfriends. It could be him. He has a lot of growing up to do and it is up to you to determine if you want to be by his side while he matures. This is a situation where you have to evaluate your life and his and see if you even have the energy to deal with that drama.
Even the healthiest relationships are hard as it is, as a woman you need to be able to decide if you are willing to deal with a man that is extremely sensitive. If you do make that decision, make sure you know what you are getting yourself into. Be mindful that you should be able to learn from your partner and be able to uplift each other, if he isn’t adding any positivity into your life or encouraging you to succeed then you can find a much better situation than the one you are in. In short, you can’t control much in your life so the things that you can control you should make as easy as possible.
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