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Subject: A Pre-nup, Are you kidding me?

I’m a 43 year old mother of 5. I have been dating a man for the past 9 years and we have a 5 year old son. We both have other children from previous marriages totaling 7 children in all. Every strawberry letter you have ever read sums up my 9 year relationship. In a nutshell when we started dating, 3 months into our relationship he told me that his ex was pregnant..1st flag, i gave him the opportunity to say whether he wanted to stay with me or try to work it out with his ex…he said me. okay. 7 months later i got pregnant. Now during my pregnancy I caught him cheating with the ex several times and he always tried to say he was just visiting the baby. 2nd flag. but i stayed and of course did the fool. this is the start of a long series of lies, cheating and me doing the fool. and what i mean by that is me following him, putting a gps on his car, getting in his phone and email the whole nine. now, moving on he moves in when our son turned 1. He was still cheating and I was still catching him. This was our process for years. it’s like it became a game of cat and mouse. During the time we lived together he paid no bills and made no contributions to the household, because the house was mine. and he felt that since i made more money and at any point and time i could kick him out (as I had done before due to his cheating) why did he need to pay “my” bills. 3rd flag. so more years pass, same thing. Now this time his cheating was keeping him from coming home for extended periods of time, so me being the private eye that i am caught him yet again. This time i found out that he had be seeing this other women for about 2 years..while he was living with me. spending time with her and her children while i was home paying bills and keeping his children. I also found out that they were talking marriage and going to marriage counseling. so yet another blow up. during that time I lost my job of 10 years and was out of work for about 6 months and he left. and moved in with her. leaving me to figure it out. Okay. fine. I will do just that. I lost my house and had to move me and my kids in with my mom until i found a new job. Now during this time, he went and bought him a house. then told me that me and the kids could move in “temporarily” until i got on my feet. which was his way of saying that he was taking care of the family. Ummmm, no thanks. A few times me and the kids went over to his house for the weekend and i would see hair in his bed, or wine glasses in the sink, clear evidence that a woman had been there. so nope, we not coming back to your house. I found another job, making even more than i did before and moved me and the kids to an even bigger house. now some more years later, he comes to visit us at my house regularly, like every other weekend when all the kids are together. He has been talking about getting married and putting the family back together. this conversation has been going on for about a year now. I take it with a grain of salt. For the real kicker…we’v looked at rings…but no proposal…of course. Still alot of talk. I get a phone call the other day and again we are talking about getting married and putting our money together etc etc etc…then he ask me if i would sign a pre-nup. What? So I went smooth off…all that i have been through with taking care of him and his kids…through him cheating with at least 20 different women and you want me to sign a pre-nup as a condition of marriage. he said because he worked hard to get his house and wants to protect what he has and if it didn’t work out, he didn’t want me to take him for his house, because when i was mad at him before I filled out child support papers (but I never submitted them and this was about 4 years ago during the mist of all the bs)so he not sure what i would try to do if i got mad if things didnt work out. Are you Freakin kidding me. so I said I guess we not getting married and don’t worry, I don’t want your bleeping house. What kind of person does that? Am I over reacting? I don’t think so, i just need to hear the other side.

Signed,

Pissed the bleep off!!

Watch the video of Shirley and guest host Usher respond to this letter below:

 

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