Subject: Pregnant Single And Raising A 13 Year Old Son
Dear Steve and Shirley,
I have been waiting for the chance to speak to you and Shirley, or have you to speak into my life. I am a single parent of a 13-year-old boy. My son is very intelligent. A straight a student. My concern with my son is that I feel he lacks common sense. It is very frustrating. I tried the best way I know how to help him in this area of his life, but it seems as if I made it worse. How do you teach a child common sense? We really need your help. Because of this situation we have limited conversation, he is scared to talk to me. I know it’s because I made him feel like that, but what am I suppose to do? I just want to know when he is out in the world he can and will make the best decisions on his own. I feel so bad to the point that I cry and ask God to help me. I don’t see want I am doing wrong, but its obvious that I am doing something wrong. For the record let me just put it out there, It’s not the pregnancy. He has been like this before I even thought of having another baby. Here are a few examples of his behavior (keep in mind he is 13): 1. I have to remind him to eat. If you don’t ask him he wont get up and feed his self. 2. I have to remind him to bath. Days can go by and he wont think on his own to take a shower. Sometimes I wont say anything just to see how long it would take for him to take a shower on his own. 3. All he wants to do in the house is lay around. I mean he balls his whole body up and would just lay there. Even when we go out he would lay his head on a table or ball his legs up in a chair. I don’t understand. I use to be light with my words, but lastly I have been hard on him because I can’t take it anymore. 4. He will not groom his self. I am the complete opposite, so I don’t know where he gets this from. I tell him how to groom as a man but I can’t show him. Like, he can’t stay in the room with me when I am getting dressed. Anyway he can’t do everything I do he is a boy. Our communication is fading because he feels scared to talk to me. Please help us Steve. I am open to any suggestions to develop a healthy relationship with my son. I have to be honest with you and the public I feel I am to blame for this situation escalating because now its hard for me to talk to him without already being frustrated. What approach should I take with him? P.S. No he does not have a man role model in his life. Not even the guy I am pregnant by. (That is a whole another letter)
Sincerely,
frustrated Mom
Listen to Shirley & Steve respond to this letter below: