Subject: Sibling Rivalry
Dear Steve and Shirley,
I am a 33 year old woman with five siblings. We have just as much drama as any other family and just as much love. For the most part we all get along pretty well, but I have one sister that has declared war against all of her siblings. She is the only one constantly on the outs with everyone. I have tried numerous times to be inclusive and reach out to her and we have been able to maintain an okay relationship until recently. I had to ask her about some money that she owed me for a bill. I did not approach her with an attitude, I simply told her that I received notice that an account we had together still had a small balance and it is quite possible that she was unaware of it. Well of course the drama queen took this moment to tell me how much of a B I was and how all she cared about was herself and her children and I could basically take that bill and shove it! We exchanged words and I admit to also getting heated after the way she responded to a simple notice over a bill. Did I mention that it was less than $100? So I just paid the bill and chalked it up to the price of doing business with her, which I will never do again. She made it quite clear during her blow up that I was dead to her, so we haven’t in about 5 months. Let me just add this is one of many blow ups with her, not always with me, but always with someone. So here is the problem: Every other year, I take my son on vacation and this year I decided I am going to start taking my nephews and nieces if I can afford to. I would love to invite her children, but I just can’t deal with her. My other siblings have children and two of them are going on vacation with me this year. I work very hard to be able to afford these vacations and it isn’t easy being a single parent and affording a quality vacation. The last thing I want is her calling and stressing the kids out or calling and stressing me out over trivial nonsense while we are on vacation. Should I reach out to her and ask if her kids can come or do I just leave well enough alone for my own sanity? I want to be a good auntie to all of my nieces and nephews, but I just don’t know how to deal with this woman without choking her out.
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