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Strawberry Letter: My Family Or My Man

Good morning Steve & Shirley:

Here’s my story – I’ve been in a relationship with a man for the past 3 years and things have been going extremely well. He’s smart, articulate, a gentle man and a wonderful lover. Here’s my problem – he’s white; and my family is outraged by that fact.

The funny thing is that two of my brothers are married to white women and my uncle is married to a Vietnamese woman. My father is currently dating a Hispanic woman and everything is cool for them -but for me its scandalous that I’ve “stepped out on my race.” I’ve fallen in love with this man, and we want to plan a wedding next year, however my family says that they will not be there because I have turned my back on the black race and have no self respect for myself because I fell in love with “Massa.”

Currently my man doesn’t know whats happening with my family, when he asks about getting together again with them (he’s met them once); I always make an excuse why we can’t. I love my family and I want them to be there for the happiest day of my life, but the men in my family refuse to even consider supporting me in any way. My mother and sisters at first were hesitant about him, but when they saw how well he treated me they came around. Why can’t the men in my family do the same thing? BTW – HIS family has accepted me with open arms.

How can I get the men in my family to come around?

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